Renk

Well, Renk is finished with - workwise. Working on my day off is not my idea of fun! Although I did have a lovely night with Jasmina - a girl that's come from Bosnia to help us with our finances. She's been such a blessing to me - I would have been here by myself otherwise. It was a good night.

So, it's off to Khartoum tomorrow. Have lots of Chris Moles and Scott Mills podcasts downloaded onto my MP3 player to keep me entertained...but my battery never lasts the full 5.5 hours!

Then fly to th UK on Friday 21st! Yey! Can't wait!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS everyone!

Lots of love

b xx

Light at the end of the tunnel...

Arrrghhhh!!! My writings just got deleted!! I knew I should have written it in Word first! GUTTED!!!

South Sudan

Well, I’m back from Juba and Kajo Keji, and it was ace!! I loved it. It was green, beautiful and the climate was good. Not that I’m complaining about Renk. The people were great too, so welcoming, but that’s Africa.

It was quite a trip to Kajo Keji. Had to get a bus to Khartoum (5 ½ hours), then flew to Juba (4 hours), then flew to Kajo Keji (30 minutes). Flying was great! In the smallest little plane. Couldn’t believe a little propeller at the front of the plane would allow us to take off, let alone stay in the air! It was wonderful seeing South Sudan from a plane – gives you a better idea of what it’s really like.

Kajo Keji is so small. Flying in was what I always imagined aid work to be like. In the middle of no-where, flying in to a remote village somewhere. We got quite an audience when we landed – I think the arrival of a plane is as exciting as it gets in Kajo Keji J

So, we spent the next five days talking about sand filters, screening material, making sand filters, talking about sand filters, screening material, making sand filters…you get the idea. But it was great. a really good group of people attended, and the majority of them volunteers, which is fairly rare in Sudan. And they’re all really keen to set up a sand filter programme. The only thing is, funding… It’s such a shame that everything comes down to money.

I had a great time. And then two very good nights in Juba – got to eat pizza and meet new people, which is always good.

Now I’m back in Renk…trying to find a CBO (Community Based Organisation) to take on a sand filter project, get institutional latrines underway, carry out a survey on year 1 water activities, get someone to come and train the government on our water quality testing kit, mobilise communities to want sand filters…

Oh the joys. It’s good work. Challenging, but I’m learning lots, getting to meet new people all the time, and experience a new culture. What is there to complain about?

Girl power - not!

Thursday 1st November 2007
It’s November!! Yey!! It’s nearly Christmas. Can’t wait!

The rest of our time in Pariak was good. But frustrating too. I wanted to train two people to sight latrines, one male and one female. But the Shieke said no, he wanted to guys. And Charles, my Sanitation Supervisor, didn’t bother trying to convince the Shieke otherwise. Charles just told me that it’s their culture and tradition and we can’t change it. That really annoyed me. No one seems to be bothered that women don’t get a voice, even though it’s the women who look after the house, clean it, get the water, do the cooking. They’re the ones who know where a latrine should be!!

So the way I got around it was by training the guys to speak to the women in the household first to ask them where they wanted the latrine. I bet you any money they don’t do it…or am I just being pessimistic???

Then we had arranged a community meeting and unfortunately the water tanker arrived at the same time. So all the women had to go and collect water. I tried to show them how to clean their jerry cans by putting stones in them and shaking it. I think it was more humerous for the people watching then it was effective. Some white girl trying to get them to clean their jerry cans – and they probably don’t even understand why! Oh well, I can but try.

Oh yeah, the community meeting….well, no women showed up. I asked if they could come and I was told no because they have work in the home. I was really annoyed. So asked if three representatives could come, the men said yes, but never bothered to call them!! SO frustrating! And I’ve just got to accept that it’s their ‘culture’ and ‘tradition’…?

The glamorous life

Wednesday 31st October 2007

I’m in Pariak, Melut County. It’s 20:30 and we’re all in bed!! So I thought I’d write a few words, even though it’s pitch black and I should be doing my monthly report!

So, is being out in the field as exciting as what I thought it would be? We’re here doing the KAP Survey for latrines in Pariak. I have five guys with me, and Charles. We dropped the guys in Pariak and met with the Executive Director of Pariak Payam. He told us that the area wasn’t surveyed and he wanted it to be done before we do latrines. I felt quite cross. Why hadn’t he told us this before!?? Oh well, he phoned the engineer in Renk, and the guy said he would come tomorrow. Must remember to get the engineers’ phone number! Then we went off to Melut to meet the Executive Director of Melut County. Basically he told me everything that Charles told me – that he is happy: Medair will do Melut town and we will commence with Pariak and Falouge town. All good. Just need to find out the household numbers of Falouge town.

Then popped in to see Medair. Only Hannah was there. Would really like to work for them I think. But then the grass is always greener on the other side, right? Then back to Pariak. Spent some time with the Medair guys who are test-pumping a borehole. Was really interesting and learnt lots – and asked lots of stupid questions!  Submersible pump at bottom. Then three tubes/wires – power to generator, tube for dipper and pipe for water. All really interesting.

All was good until it became dark and there is no water for bathing. We went and had food – fool and tomatoes, then hired beds (1 SDG each!), then they all went to bed. I managed to wash with one 600 ml bottle of water (water which I took from the bucket where people wash their hands before they eat) and a bucket I had borrowed from the Police. There are so many mosquitoes here and they are vicious!!

Now in my mozdome, outside, by the Police, by the main road, and my feet are itching like crazy – I’m sure there are things inside my mozdome!! Oh, what a glamorous life I lead! But these people are so so poor. No water (gets delivered by a tanker from the river - when they remember), no toilets, and we've just built a school and health care centre. Hopefully in a couple of weeks all the people will have latrines too...

One afternoon...

The morning was busy, but also dragged (make any sense!?!). Had a meeting with labour office – found three potential candidates for the Sanitation Supervisor post. Interviews next Wednesday, so got to prepare some questions…

Then this afternoon was the Ramalla Community Meeting regarding sand filters. Was slightly annoyed because the guys hadn’t got the sandfilter and sand & gravel ready for Geiger. But hey, I went to the market and got a coffee and sandwich. We were late, but what’s new. And when we got to Geiger, no water, so we couldn’t sort the filter out anyway. Then the guys turn to me and say, ‘What shall we do?’ I can get frustrated, and often I do, but left it. We’ll try and sort it out on the way back from Ramalla.

Then to Ramalla. Was a lovely afternoon. We got given water and sodas when we got there. Then gathered the community together and met under the big tree (always find that hilarious). But it was great. Mohammed explained everything about hygiene and the sandfilters (well, that’s what I think he did, my Arabic isn’t that good!). Then I spoke a bit and asked for volunteers from the community: two children, two women and two men, and for them each to tell me something about sandfilters. I was really impressed. They did well; obviously the house-to-house visits are working! J Then we did a sketch, which was funny and simply great, especially considering we only went through it for 5 minutes before the started the community meeting!

THEN, when we were finished, Deng told us we were going to Nazara’s house for some small food, only ten minutes. When we got there, we were brought a meal!! With bread, rice, meat (lots of meat) and sodas! I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t even hungry, but had to eat. It was so lovely of them. Then they brought out chai! Wonderful people – are rare community – they’re not always so accommodating and helpful, believe me. Oh, and apparently, Ramalla used to be a really big community, but is very small because a lot of people left because of the war. That’s really sad, but apparently people are returning slowly.

I enjoyed the afternoon so much. The community were so enthusiastic about the filters. I’m not a fan of the office at all, but unfortunately paper work still has to be done. Need to finalise the surveys for the filters and latrines, write a letter to the community of Renk regarding latrines, raise some PRs, sort out contracts, label photos, write up trip reports…bother! That’s my evening filled then…knowing me I’ll do a list of things to do first!

Into the swing of it...

So, things are going ok...hoping to implement 100 sand filters before the end of the month, get at least 100 people to start digging their latrines...hopefully the geopysical survey for our water points will commence in December...and i've got to think of some ideas to make water & sanitation 'sexy'...answers on a postcard please!

All in all, I'm a pretty happy bunny at the moment...I think it has a lot to do with the Tearfund Retreat recently, the wonderful people I get to work with, and even more to do with God!!

Tears and joy

Ok, I promised myself (and you guys) to come back to Renk with more joy. No more miserable stuff (well, maybe a little). And I need to shorten these things a tad…ok, a lot! :o)

I had a wonderful time back home in the UK. Catching up with my family, celebrating my Grandma’s 80th Birthday, visiting the hospital, going out for lots of coffee, visiting Bridgwater and Reading, wearing what I wanted, eating good food and proudly attending my brothers wedding. Can you believe there are now two Rebekah Rice’s in the world!?!

Managed to hold off the tears until I was on the plane to Cairo, when I realised how much I was going to miss home, my friends and family, and how much work I was going back to in Renk. I was really scared. Scared I wouldn’t be able to do the work and that I’d simply mess up.

Khartoum was kinda hard too as there were hardly any people in the office. Made me even more homesick. Then after a five and a half hour bus ride, I was back to Renk. And it was lovely. Everyone was so welcoming. Took a good 15 minutes saying hello to everyone, but that’s the Sudanese way, and it’s great. After lunch, it was back to work and like I’d never left. And yes, things are already very stressful, but I know that with God by my side I can get through this. I sometimes wonder why God has brought me here, but I just have to trust Him. Something I really don’t find easy.

Today I went to the one of the camps for the first time since I’ve been back. As soon as I got out of the car, a little girl shouted, “Rebekah!” and ran over to me and gave me the biggest hug. It was a great feeling. Her smile said it all. Then I went and saw a baby girl of 1 month and 10 days old. She was born before I went and they named her Rebekah. It was great to see her again. I could have stayed in the camp all afternoon, just greeting and chatting to everyone. To me, that is what makes my time here worthwhile, simply spending time talking to the people who I live amongst.

Then on Saturday I had lunch with the Sudanese guys from work, which was great. Bless them. They’re so lovely to me. Then in the evening I dropped them off at their friends house. But of course I had to come in and greet everyone…which then led to me having my toenails painted – first time ever, and they were painted GREEN – Tina would be proud of me! Then they brought out food, which I had to partake in. Then there was dancing, which I also had to partake in, and was pretty poor at it. But I made them all laugh! :o)

Then there was my first Ramadan breakfast (evening meal) on Monday night...very nice. And SO much food! I really don't know how these people don't eat or drink anything all day when it is so hot!

Hmmm….I suppose I should do some work at some point. Now, where did I leave my motivation???

Bites, appraisals and friends...

Latrine lining and zinc slab
Camp
Tankering water

Man, why do mosquitos like me so much? I know why, because compared to everyone else here in Renk, I’m an easy target. I have thin, white skin, which makes taking blood from me easier than taking it from my fellow-human beings here, whose skin is toughened to the pesky things. Unfortunately for me, my body doesn’t like them…kinda reacts badly…(not that I’m known to scratch them or anything). So, at the moment, I have some nice mosquito wounds, which should scar nicely. I wish I could say I’m pleased to have these Sudan war-wounds, but I would be lying. They’re horrible. I’m just praying they heal before my brother’s wedding. Any advice on how to speed up the body’s healing process?

That was a nice introduction for you all. Sorry. So yeah, things out here in Renk are going along busily. Being the only NGO in Renk, we had to respond to the people who have been affected by the flooding here. Two camps have been established, with approximately 1,500 households in total. In the larger camp, we initially constructed 13 latrines, in about three days! It was hard work, but great to see good results in so little time. We also started tankering water in daily and a medical centre was set up. We also worked with World Vision and the World Food Programme (WFP), distributing IDP kits and food (not my remit though). All very exciting in a way, except for the fact that our own programme of water, latrines and sand filters (the day-to-day grind) still had to continue. Which it did, but to a lesser extent. It is impossible to do both 100%, despite all the hours we put in.

Another NGO, Medair, came in last week to help us with water (set up two emergency water treatment systems) and health/hygiene, which is great. It’s been really cool having other people to socialise with, talk to and learn from. It’s also a very small world, as a number of the people from Medair team, were also on the same Medair course as me in the July 2006. The last week has made me realise how unhappy I have been recently, not with the work necessarily (although it is hard), but socially, in the ex-pat team. I never imagined how hard it would be being the only European. I seem to continually make mistakes around the house – use the wrong water or wrong pans, or not clean/rinse the crockery well enough. It only makes me feel worse, ‘cause as a watsan person, I should be setting an example. I just feel like I don’t fit in. That people prefer it when I’m not around. But then if I choose to go somewhere for the evening, or be back late from work, I feel guilty because I’m not socialising with my team or helping with the cooking or doing things round the house. I just don’t feel like I’m me. Ordinarily, I’d be running around doing things for everyone, which I love doing, but instead I find myself not doing them ‘cause I’m scared I’m going to get it wrong. I just end up cutting myself off from the team, rather than spending time with them. That’s also because I feel I’m not liked by everyone, which creates tension. Oh the joys of team life! It’s not all doom and gloom though. I just tend to ignore it and pretend nothing is wrong. That’s my approach anyway. Any advice much appreciated….answers on a postcard…on second thoughts; an e-mail will be much quicker!

Spending time with the Medair guys has been great. They’re lovely people. And I have thought, maybe I should have gone out with Medair when they asked me. Maybe I’d be having a better and more fun time. If only I hadn’t been so proud in wanting to work for Tearfund, because it always seemed like THE Christian NGO to work for as far as I was concerned. I pray God forgives my pride and arrogance. Maybe that’s why I’m finding this year so hard. I know that God is teaching me many things though, spiritually and technically. Patience is the big lesson I’m having to learn. To let people come and interrupt you all day with their problems is tough. Especially when they don’t come to you with any solutions, I just get, “You know, Rebekah, there is a problem….” You have to laugh sometimes, otherwise you’d cry with frustration. Slowly I’m learning not to fly off the handle, but for someone with a quick temper (which my family knows only too well), it’s pretty hard. Anyway, having agreed to do another year here, I should increase my patience skills….hopefully – a prayer point for you all J

And then there was my appraisal (yes, NGOs have an appraisal system!). I was so SO scared! I know I haven’t performed my best this year. We’ve had to implement everything in six months, and I’ve had to learn about latrine construction, and hafirs and sand filters…. I will be the first to admit things have gone wrong and taken too long. And of course, I still constantly compare myself to other people and think that I’m rubbish, and everything I do is not good enough. I was pleasantly surprised though, I was told that I am good with the community, a generally nice person (what is ‘nice’ anyway? Such a non-descript word). Anyway, I’m nice, and apparently the national staff in the office like me, I work hard (although what I actually present as outputs for my hard work has to be questioned), and fit it. It was the last one that surprised me most. Fit in!?? My feelings are that I definitely don’t fit in, but that I cause tension. With the national staff in the office, yes I would say I fit in. With the other ex-pats, I would say no. But, apparantly I fit in! I’m still mulling this over in my head as to why he said that. I just know I don’t fit in. To me, this is what makes me unhappy. To come home from work and not be able to relax because I’m always scared I’m doing something wrong. But now I have started thinking that it’s me. I’m the problem, no one else. I’m the one causing the tension. Maybe I should be the one to leave. And at one point this week I nearly got to that stage. I have no friends here really. I prefer spending time with the national staff. That’s probably the hardest thing, and to me, working in a team has always been a cool thing! I hate being by myself, so working in a team and hanging out with other people is great. Being in Sudan has taught me that it’s not that easy. Rebekah Rice is not always going to be liked by everyone – no matter how hard she tries. You guys know how much I hate not being liked!

Anyway, there’s so much work here to keep me busy and out of mischief, that I can kind of ignore it. But at the back of my mind it’s always there. I really feel for the other guys I live with. Do I make them feel as uncomfortable as I feel? If I do, then that’s really bad. The only thing I can do is leave, but I refuse to give up that easily. Team life is not going to be easy, especially living and working with the same people 24-7, and I’ve got a more patient spirit to master and other character traits God needs to teach me. So we’ll see how the next six months go.

Man! Realised I've moaned lots! So sorry. Ignore me. Gonna stop writing these silly blog things! :o)

I am looking forward to coming home though…not long now! Miss you all back home so very much. Thank you so much for all your messages, e-mails and everything. Means so much to me! Sorry I don't always reply back.

The rains came down…and the floods went up...

Just when you need a little more time to finish the projects you’ve started…and it starts raining….a lot!! Big big muskalas (problems)! When it starts raining, the soil turns to mud…you can’t drive anywhere…you walk anywhere and you get covered in the stuff…and the mosquito’s decide I’m their best friend... But work has to go on…somehow.

So, I’m sitting here in the dark, because the generator decided it would turn itself off, right in the middle of a really heavy rainstorm…and Prison Break! So we have water flowing (ok, not flowing, but a bit of a stream) through the house and the lights have all gone out. Out come the torches, and up goes everything off the floor. So that was the excitement for about 10 minutes. And then Abigail decides she is going to bed. I was like, but it’s only 20:30. But she’s right. What can you do in the dark? Me, I’m on my laptop, having played Spider Solitaire, whilst worrying about my latrines collapsing and thinking about how I’m going to get my masons to Kilo15 and Shemodi to finish off the latrines…and that I won’t be able to go to Goz Fami to rehabilitate four handpumps (well, not me personally, but you know what I mean). If only God had held off the rains for another two weeks. Just two weeks was all I was asking. The problems I’ve had with latrines…the communities not digging and my contractor disappearing to get married (for three weeks!), so the masons refuse to work because they haven’t got paid. Oh the joys…

The rain has stopped. Thank you God! I just pray the Shem Shedin brick lining is still standing…the school has not done the infill yet, and they suddenly announce that they have no money to carry out the second digging. I could have cried! I never thought motivating people to dig when you’re giving them something for free would be so hard!

Oh no, the rain is starting again. You can hear every drop on these tin roofs. It’s like camping. I actually like the sound, but not when I associate it with visions of my latrines collapsing. Please let them still be standing tomorrow morning. I’ll take some photos to go with this…the field that has become mud…and where there was a road…just drive where you think the mud is…um, not as bad as in other places. Basically, you just see children walking to school and women to the market barefoot, with their sandles in their hands. Why wreck your shoes or loose them in the mud?

Actually, it was quite funny the other day, Assunta (one of our Hygiene Promotion Supervisors) came to work and asked if she could go to the market to buy herself some new shoes…she’d lost them in the mud walking to work. Bless her. So off she went, barefoot, to the market to buy herself a new pair of shoes. I found it quite funny and couldn’t hide my smile – is that really harsh?

I do hope this rain stops soon. I’m having too many sleepless nights worrying about my latrines. I just have to remember that God promised never to flood the earth again. Unfortunately, Renk is not the whole earth! Also, it is Wimbledon at the moment, and everyone knows that when Wimbledon is on, it always rains…a lot!

Habib, hotels, planes, changing room, sun, sand and a wedding

Am supposed to be doing work….oops…but I thought it was ages since I wrote anything on here last, but it seems that it was only at the beginning of the month…but that seems like such a long time ago now…

Since my last blog, I’ve been in Khartoum, Renk, Khartoum again, Khartoum Airport, the Hilton Hotel (unforeseen circumstances), Khartoum Airport again, Nairobi, Dar-es-Salam, Lazy Island, Zanzibar, Dar-es-Salam, Nairobi, Khartoum Airport (you’ve got to love it!), and Renk…I think you get the picture J

So, my friends from my church in Reading decided to get married on Lazy Island in Tanzania on 14th June 2007. Hannah’s (the bride) parents are missionaries in Dar-es-Salam, so it was the obvious location. I was actually invited the day I flew out to Sudan to start this job, so it seemed rude not to go, seeing I was so close. All the plans were made and I was due to fly out very early in the morning (like, 3:45am) of 13th June. Khartoum Airport don’t seem to like human-friendly flying times J Anyway, at about 3:00am we found out that our flight to Nairobi had been cancelled due to the habib (dust storm)…well, it just wasn’t landing in Khartoum but carrying on the Cairo. I was gutted. There was no way I was going to make the wedding. The next flight wouldn’t be until 24hrs time, and there would now be two loads of people to fly to Nairobi, and one plane…it seemed unlikely (even though we were told we’d be given priority). I told Kenya Airways I wanted to cancel my flight. But I happily went with them to the Khartoum Hilton Hotel, which is where they would put us up for the night. I was never going to get the opportunity to stay in a Hilton Hotel; let alone for free…I’d be crazy to turn down such an offer (that’s how I justified it to myself anyway)!

It was about 4am by the time we’d all checked in and got to bed. Texted Steve & Gill (Hannah’s parents in Tanzania), and told them I probably wouldn’t be coming. I decided I would phone the office the next morning and get them to book me on the bus to Renk on 14th June. I know, it’s confusing, the day of 13th June was just beginning…but it felt like a whole day had past.

My bed was the coolest! Big bed all to myself, lots of pillows and a lush duvet…ace! I was sure I’d sleep for hours…but I woke up at 9am. Malesh. But it meant I could phone Steve & Gill (we were allowed a free international phone call) and update them on what was happening. They told me to come anyway. The wedding was at 11am. The flight was scheduled to land in Dar-es-Salam at 8:25am on 14th June, so I should make it to the island on time. I wasn’t convinced, I said I’d let them know. I then phoned my mum, and she phoned me back (didn’t want to take advantage of KA generosity!)…she agreed that I should get the flight and try and make the wedding. I think her thoughts were more along the lines of hoping I’d meet a gorgeous guy out there…despite me telling her that I knew all the guests that were coming (no offence guys!).

Anyway, I’m rambling, and I’m sure this isn’t very exciting. To cut it all short, after breakfast I headed into town with a random AU guy I met, and wondered aimlessly really, but hey. Then to KA office to check on flights. We would be flying at 20:00 that night. Excellent! It meant a night sleeping in Nairobi airport, but it was fine. The next problem was that we were late leaving Nairobi airport, by over an hour…so when I should have been landing in Dar-es-Salam, we were taking off from Nairobi. I knew then I’d definitely missed the wedding. Gutted. And getting my visa at Dar-es-Salam Airport took ages too! I was beginning to wonder why God was so against me going to this wedding. Finally left Dar Airport in a taxi around 10:15…next step was getting changed into a dress and doing my hair & makeup in the taxi…from the Hilton to getting changed in a taxi…I know how to live the high life!!

By the way, Tanzania is beautiful!!!! So so green and long white sand beaches…I wondered why I’d never come here before.

So, getting the boat over to Lazy Island, the Bridal Party were just coming onto the beach for photos…highly embarrassing for me, as I got lots of cheers and photos taken…but it was fantastic to finally be there – amongst all my friends again. Worth all the sleep depravation, frustration and prayers! Lazy Island was truly beautiful, which complimented the beautiful couple wonderfully.

The rest of the day was brilliant…photos on the beach…reception…speeches…cutting the cake…swimming in the sea…singing songs around a log fire as the sun set, and eating more food J A truly beautiful and amazing day! Thank you to Steven & Gill for inviting me!!

The following day was spent on the beach, saying goodbye to Hannah & Charlie as they went off on their honeymoon, swimming (I lost count how many times I went in the water)…and ensuring Rosalind didn’t lose too much blood after cutting herself on some rocks (not nice). Then in the afternoon it was time to leave. The rest of the guys went back to Dar, while Ben & I went to Bagamona to visit the place where the slaves were taken off to the Arab Countries. A weird town in that there was a normal feel to it in one part, with the market and bus station, and then the eerie side to it at the beach, where the stocks where the slaves were kept still remained, and the old wooden boats were moored. The boats were amazing! Looked like something out of C.S. Lewis’, The Dawn Treader! Then it was a bus-trip back to Dar, and a long walk, then another bus ride. Long story, so ask Ben.

Then it was Zanzibar the next day for Ben, Rosalind, Chantel and myself…so up at 5:30am, and a ferry to Zanzibar. Ace! Got ourselves (well, Ben did), a random taxi-driver called Sherif who decided we would go to the East Coast for the night (Ros & Chantel were leaving the next day). I was dubious and wished I’d done some reading on Zanzibar. Putting my faith in a taxi-driver??? Never! But it was turned out amazingly…it was the most beautiful place I’ve ever been too! Long white-sand beaches and turquoise seas. Wow! I was in my element…we were all in that sea while we waited for lunch. It was wonderful. Basically, the rest of the day was spent eating lunch, swimming, drinking beer, swimming again…oh, and dancing at a random wedding we were taken to.

The evening was far more bizarre. Met a guy at the place we were staying who said he’d take us into town…it was only when we were in the car that I realised this was a bad idea. We didn’t know these guys and they ended up taking us to a random place where the only people there were the barmen, cooks, and a weird guy who sat in the corner. The guys tried to plough us with alcohol and I think they were slightly put-out when we stopped drinking after one pint. I think we were the most boring people they had taken out. I did feel bad. The food was good though! But I remained uneasy until we got back to our B&B place…we were in the middle of know-where, trusting two guys who we didn’t know. It all turned out ok though, and was an experience I suppose.

After breakfast the next say, we headed back to Stone Town. Ben & I booked ourselves in Jambo Hotel for the night, then we headed out to find somewhere for lunch before Ros & Chatel headed back to Dar. Poor Ben was then stuck with me for the next 24 hours. We visited the historical places, went to the museums, went swimming (yeah, that was my idea), went to the fish market, then at about 8pm, Ben decided he wanted to buy the traditional African game – wooden game with marbles (seeds). We had to get some poor guy out of bed, and re-open his shop up. Did feel bad. He was a lovely guy though and even gave me a beautiful necklace! Finally went back to the hotel and couldn’t work out how to play it anyway…then I did feel bad on the guy we got out of bed! J

Didn’t do much the next day. Ben spent lots of money on paintings and a walking stick and truncheon with a knife in it. He gave a performance on the old theatre there…hilarious. But then I suppose it’s one of those things when you had to be there… Then headed back to the beach to kill a bit of time. Ended up going swimming (of course!), which meant I then had to board the ferry soaking wet. Typical! J The ferry back was not quite as nice as the trip there…going against the current…bug waves and a few people being sick. Learnt that if you shut your eyes, then all is good.

Man, my holiday was practically over. Tuesday I flew back to Khartoum…having spent a couple of hours on the beach and sea at White Sands in Dar. Decided to book a tuktuk to the airport…another experience I won’t be forgetting in a while…a few near-death experiences…but hey, it was cheaper than a taxi! Yep, I’m still tight with money out here.

So yeah, Tuesday night I was back in the heat of Khartoum and Thursday I was back in Renk (having had a child who was sitting on my lap being sick on me on the bus). Oh dear, I’ve really fallen from my Hilton heights!!

Life in Renk is going on. Still trying to get slabs on household and school latrines (I never thought motivating people to dig would be so hard!). Need to finish off three water projects…and pilot sand filters, and hafir sand filters and pilot a new design for latrine linings – which will hopefully be cheaper than bricks and will mean we can do more latrines next year. And then the whole things starts again…planning for next year’s water points, latrines and sand filters…as well as managing (well, trying to!) Hygiene Promotion…oh dear. God is working a miracle here, because I couldn’t do it without Him!

Looking forward to my brother’s wedding in September…in the UK rather than anywhere tropical!

Appraisals

Can’t believe the last thing I wrote something was back at Easter. That’s really bad. But I did come back to the UK at the end of April, so hopefully I’m forgiven. Ok, that’s a lame excuse I know. Then let’s just say I’m rubbish J

At the moment I’m on the bus back to Renk, having been in Khartoum for a couple of days at the North Sudan Programme Management Meeting…which is basically a get together of the all the heads of the different departments and programmes in North Sudan. So all the AC’s were there from Darfur, and the HR, Finance and Logistics Managers, and of course the Programme Director and Deputy Programme Director. We discussed issues that have been raised at previous meetings, health & safety/security (yep, it comes up in all meetings across the world!), staff, how we can improve the impact Tearfund has in North Sudan etc. It was the first meeting I’d attended and was good to be part of it as often – to meet the guys from Darfur and just generally feel more part of the Tearfund programme.

It was a good couple of days; I learnt a lot and got to know the team better – hopefully I will stop standing in the corner so much, too shy to talk to anyone because I don’t know people.

Ok, I’m not one for being quite so open, but for some reason I feel I should send this out…maybe I’m wrong to and I’m the only one who feels like this, but hey…I’m only embarrassing myself so here goes…just promise not to shun me next time you see me :o)

One of the key things that struck me at yesterday’s meeting was what it actually means to be a Christian leader, especially here in Sudan – although technically it shouldn’t matter where you are. The way I do my job and live my life out here must be outliving the characteristics of Jesus. Often, being the only Khawaja is difficult - it means that nothing you do goes unnoticed, either at work, or simply going for a walk – let alone going for a run – yes, I actually built up the guts to go for a run. I know, poor people in Renk! Anyway, it made me realise how important it is just to be a good Christian witness. That in EVERYTHING I do, I am representing Christ. In the way I work with my staff, spend time with friends and interact with the community. My aim should be to emanate the leadership qualities Jesus had in all that I do.

This struck me more when I thought about our appraisals, which will take place at some point soon (oh dear, stress!!). Not only will I be appraised on the quality of my work, but also on my characteristics as a Christian leader. Both my line manager and staff will have a role to play in appraising me. Being assessed (was going to say ‘judged’, but seems less scary to say ‘assessed’) on the quality of the work I do is normal in way, as it’s what I’m used to back in the UK…not that I enjoy them though! But being evaluated as to what my leadership qualities are as a Christian is something I’ve never experienced before. This will be the side of my appraisal that will scare me the most. To me, this is the most important aspect of my job. Yet why should it be such a big deal to me? Isn’t it something that I should continually be doing to myself? Why should it be any different here then in the UK, just because I’m working for a Christian organisation. I should always be thinking, is this right for me to do as a Christian? How will this action be viewed by the community around me? Knowing I’m a Christian, how will my staff view me if I act in this way? Ultimately, what the people around me think of me is a reflection on how they will see Jesus Christ.

Yet, because I work for a Christian organisation, I AM appraised on my Christian leadership. This shouldn’t be important though, Christ is my supreme appraiser! It shouldn’t take an appraisal with my manager and staff to make me think about what I’m doing and the consequences of my actions. It should be being the sort of leader Christ wants to be, and Christ expects me to be that should be important to me.

So, although wasn’t that ecstatic about coming to Khartoum this week (don’t take it personally!) as I felt I had too much work, spiritually it was vital. In all that I do here in Sudan, the most important thing is to live a life that reflects Christ. As one of the guys at the meeting said afterwards (well, can’t remember exactly what he said, but words to this effect), even if everything seems to be going wrong, remember that can be here just as a witness. I think I’ve often neglected this aspect of the job. It’s so easy to get caught up in the business of the day job, that you (well, I do), lose sight of what is really important. It is good sometimes to remember that no matter how rubbish or good I’m feeling about my work and everything, that I am also simply here as a Christian.

This is vital, and I think I lose sight of the bigger and more important spiritual picture far too often.

Sukhana Shadid! (very hot!)

HAPPY EASTER!!

I’ve never known heat like this. It’s up into the 40’s…over 40°C!! The sweat just pours off you. But it’s not completely unbearable…somehow. I think it’s because it’s a dry heat, not humid like it gets in the UK. You just don’t go out of a building here between the hours of 11:00-15:00…seriously. Even the Sudanese people are complaining about how hot it is - something I never expected. My arms are getting nice and brown, but my legs…they’re so white still – they kinda glow in the dark! You don’t need a torch when my white legs are around J Yeah, sorry Mum, just cause I’m in Sudan, it doesn’t mean I’m wearing skirts more…still living and dying in trousers! Grandma did always say I should have been born a boy.

So yeah, getting back to the heat thing…we’ve been sleeping outside, which is lovely. Felt a bit disorientated the first time I slept out; waking up in the middle of the night to a black sky and stars took me a bit by surprise. It’s fab though. The stars here are beautiful and the moon is so bright. Still unbelievably hot, even at this time (it’s 23:00 and I can’t sleep – too hot). We have MosDomes – which are dome tents, but with mosquito-net lining. So no, not much use in the UK; I’d get pretty wet.

Things here are going ok though…lots of work as we don’t have a logistician, so having to design latrines (with lots of help), finalise the bills of quantities, procure materials, order materials…and the quantities are all different as each school latrine we’re doing seems to be different somehow. Also, some households only require a 2m brick lining, while others need a 3m lining…oh the cement, bricks, iron bars, zinc sheeting, sand, gravel etc we’ve ordered… Spent the day off-loading 25 tons of cement, together with iron bars, zinc sheeting, binding wire, marina (timber), lime…it was actually really good fun. So enjoyed it and the guys I work with are fab. I don’t think the local Sudanese villagers had seen a girl doing this sort of work though – offloading marina and iron bars etc. I drew the line at carrying a bag of cement though…they weigh 50Kg!! Being out in the field rocks…the office and paper-work sucks. But unfortunately it has to be done…[sigh].

With regards to water, we’ve finished constructing three hafirs (like reservoirs, but are depressions dug in places where the relief of the land means water naturally flows to in the rainy season, basically the lowest point in that area. We’re currently finishing off the fourth. So that’s good. Unfortunately the water quality in these hafirs is not good, but the water table in these places is so deep that drilling a borehole is practically impossible. Would be interesting to know how deep the average borehole is in the UK…especially the Water Company ones. Any information greatly appreciated; send your answers on the back of a postcard or stuck-down envelope…

So yeah, that’s me. Need to order gravel, sand, mortor, ventilation pipes, paint, mesh wire and the iron work (doors, windows, moulds etc) this week…as well as somehow getting cement to Shemodi and Kilo 15 without spending money…you have to pay the community to onload and offload materials, which is a bit of a problem as I didn’t include that in my budget…oops. I also have the Tearfund North Sudan Programme Director coming to visit this week, so most of my time will be taken up entertaining him…as well as finding time to order the materials, write up what I’m doing, make sure things are moving, getting contracts signed with the masons, making sure all the households understand what they need to do for their latrines…and writing a list of things for all my guys to do when I’m away. Yeah!! I finally got my exit visa!!

God has been so faithful. I couldn’t have asked for better people to work for me. The masons I’ve hired are wonderful and will do a great job at managing the project I’m sure. I have great staff in the office with me. They’re just all wonderful people. We socialise together and have a good time when we’re together. I really thank God for them. Without good staff, this project would be non-existent. I went to church with some of the guys this morning – Easter Sunday in Renk! It was lovely. They had two or three different tribes singing in their own language. The children did a song. The preacher went on too long… a typical Easter Sunday church services I believe J It’s good to know it’s the same the world over.

Well, I’m going to try and go to sleep again…hopefully….

Trust you’re all well. Take care
becks

It’s February already!

Wow! Thanks for the message. You're wonderful! I can't believe you made the effort to get online for me! I love you so much! So very much!

I'm fine thank you. It's not easy here though. There are days when life is so hard. Too much to do, not enough time to do it in, but everything takes so long and you don't achieve what you want in the time you have. Not enough hours. Is hard being the only white person, but it's ok. Don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time and i'm miserable. Because I'm not. The communities I get to work with are wonderful, and in a way, being white helps. Everyone says i'm very social and seem to get people onside, which is good. It's days like that which make it worth everything.

Just wish I knew what I was doing. I know God is being good to me though as some of the stuff on my workplan has been taken out, and Medair (the other Christian NGO I was going to work for) are in our area, which means I don't have to work there. Can hopefully learn from them too. Have a meeting with them on Friday 9th.

Am still not sleeping, but amazingly I'm not tired. I don't understand that. Has to be God.

But things are good. Feel I get on better with the National staff rather than the two Kenyan people I live with, but like today, we had a good time, and they're teaching me to cook (Abigail - Kenyan girl).

It's all good! I hope you're well. Sorry for rambling on.

Miss you all lots.
Love you
b xx

March 2007

Well, thought it was about time I updated things on me and Sudan...and did it on Facebook and Blogger...Thanks so much to everyone for their birthday wishes and e-mails. You're all stars! It's good to know that out of sight does not mean out of mind! :o) You're all stars!So, i'm in Khartoum at the moment - so taking the opportunity to catch up on the many e-mails I haven't replied to! Not good! Sorry to you all for being so rubbish! I'm supposed to be going to Nyala in Darfur for a Water & Sanitation Workshop, but it may not happen as I haven't got a work permit yet, and without that I can't get a travel permit...this country does my nut! And who knows when I'll get an exit visa - don't think I even have a stay visa yet! I'm an illegal person! How exciting is that!?! Not really :o)I keep hearing about all you guys doing half-marathon's and marathons etc. and here's me, having run the Bristol half-marathon and now I haven't done any exercise in months. I'm lucky if I get to go for a walk. Must be the most unfit person in the world! Feeling very fat - ok, not fat, just lazy. I'm just too tired at the end of the day to do anything like that, and often I have to work in the evenings anyway. I tell you...this job is so hard. I don't know what I'm doing half the time, and have to make decisions without knowing all the facts, and everyone is in need of water, but you have to decide who needs it most...and it's all got to be done so quickly...and we're doing latrines...so i'm just a little bit stressed and tired at the moment :o) But I'm just trusting God through it all that He sent me here for a reason, and that He won't let me fail...it will all work out somehow. The Sudanese people are lovely, you always have to greet and shake hands with everyone. I get called 'Kowaga' (white person - like Mzungo) all the time...slowly teaching people my name isn't Kowaga, but Rebekah :o) - they don't like Becks - we'll get there.Anyway, thank you everyone for all your prayers and support. They mean more than you'll ever know. This year is going to be the hardest ever! But I know without God and all your prayers it would be impossible. So thank you. And I thank God for not leaving me and being wonderful in so many ways, and giving me the lifts and encouragement I need at just the right times to make sure I don't crack up!Miss you all so much

b Xxx

Christmas and New Year 2006
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on this MySpace thing, so I thought I’d better fill you guys in on what I’ve been up to – but it’s quite long, so maybe you’ll have to read it in chunks or during coffee breaks or something. Apologies in advance if it gets a little boring…

Well, Christmas wasn’t what I expected. I wanted the African experience. To have an African Christmas in Uganda – and it was going to be great as far as I was concerned! I was expecting too much, and that was unfair in a way. Uganda is great though. I love the country and the people, and this was my third visit. It was good to see Flic – someone I knew and could chat to (friend from Bridgwater who’s working out in Uganda for two years and was here when I went out in October/November last year.)

So, yeah, flew out to Uganda on 21st December (via Nairobi). Bit of a nightmare journey, but I got there. Spent most of our days in Kampala town or at the Guest House where Flic used to stay. Met loads of lovely people – Wilson, Dennis, James, Alex, Jake, Cat, Laura, Rita, Carol, Edwin, Ramona…(not that those people mean anything to anyone else, but hey). I really couldn’t have asked to be around nicer people. Flic has some really good friends and seems to know everyone!

Did not feel like Christmas at all though. I think the first time it hit me that it was actually Christmas, was when I was at Nairobi airport and they were playing Christmas music. Apart from that, nothing here in Africa is what I would call ‘Chrismassy’. There are no lights, no carols being sung, no Christmas music in the shops, no Christmas decorations, no Christmas parties… But that’s Christmas to me, and it is unfair to compare it really.

Went to a really good Christmas Cantata performance at Kampala Pentecostal Church in town on the 22nd December. Was ace! So so good!! (get the impression I liked it?) Over 100 in the choir. With dancers (very westernised dancing – ballet, salsa…!) and a group of actors doing the nativity. Was wonderful. Finally felt like Christmas (a bit!)

For Christmas we got invited by Edwin (one of the trustees of the organisation Flic works for) to his wife’s family home. It was really lovely of them to invite us (Wilson, Alex, Jennifer, Flic and me). We were told we would get picked up at midday, go to their family home for lunch, then go to the beach. How cool!? It sounded great. The African Christmas experience I wanted. Flic and I got so excited. The beach on Christmas Day!! Christmas dinner in Uganda with a large African family. It was going to be ace! We decided to take some food with us, and two crates of sodas (getting hold of them was an adventure in itself and far too long a story!). I cooked pasta (which didn’t turn out like I expected), Jennifer made stuffing and a bean stew. We were all packed, towel, bikini, shorts, sun cream…dinner and the beach was awaiting us.

Managed to speak to my family on Christmas Day too, which was really lovely! Technology is great. Can’t imagine what NGO workers used to do without the internet, e-mail and mobile phones. Makes life so much more easier and bearable.

So yeah, we were all set to go at midday, as told. We shouldn’t have been so optimistic. This is Africa remember. Two and a half hours later, and most of Love Actually watched, Edwin arrived to take us to his wife’s family home. I think Flic and I were quite frustrated and annoyed (and how bad did I feel for feeling like that!? – these people had very kindly invited us out for lunch on Christmas Day, and what do I do – complain, very selfish of me!). I think watching Love Actually didn’t help either. Seeing all the Christmas lights, people being with their families, enjoying the festivities we associate with Christmas. Made me quite sad and I just wanted to be with my family. Suddenly it dawned on me that I wasn’t there, and they were having their Christmas Day without me. I wanted to be at home and have our Christmas traditions – of my sister and I waking my brother up way too early so we could all open our stocking presents together…and to once again see that Mum had been far too generous (which other Mother do you know puts a CD in your stocking!) – she’s so lovely. And then to find out what toy from the Poundshop and other silly games Dad had added to our stockings. All these little things that you miss, and you don’t realise how much until you’re not around them. Like Carols By Candlelight at my church in Wolverhampton (and playing with the candles, melting all the wax and burning my fingers!) and Christmas Day at church, seeing what presents the children had got, singing carols and eating mince pies (of course, church on Christmas Day isn’t just that – we do have serious stuff too, like celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, the Son if God – incredibly important!) J

Anyway, we eventually got to where we were meant to be going. It was a lovely house. Everyone was really welcoming. We were offered sodas (lots and lots of sodas!) and chatted to Moses, the grandfather. Really lovely guy, and very hospitable. It’s quite rare to have a grandfather in Uganda. Then the food was ready. I asked for my pasta to be heated, and it didn’t come out until quite a lot later after the meal had started, which was a shame, but probably saved everyone the displeasure of having to eat it!. I think I should have just done a load of vegetables.

There was so much food though, and it was delicious. Matoke (of course!), potato, cabbage, rice, g-nut sauce, lots of different meat pots, and a fish dish, gepatis…The boys were in their element! All very very lovely. Couldn’t have asked for nicer food, and plenty of it. But the weird thing was, all the family sat outside on the back veranda, while all us Mzungo’s (white person) ate in the front room with Moses. Edwin joined us later. I felt really bad, like we’d intruded on their family day. They have family in the States that had come over for Christmas. I’m sure they just wanted to spend time talking to them, rather than being with us – despite their protests that it was fine and we were welcome. But it was kind of weird. Flic and I were saying later that if it had been in England, and you’d invited people over for Christmas, then we’d all sit together. We wouldn’t all sit in separate rooms. There I go again, complaining when I should have been so thankful that we were invited out!

Christmas cake was brought out later – sponge with shed loads of icing. Flic and I were so craving something sweet! I’m sure we ate most of it! Was sponge though, not fruit cake like we have back home (not that I’m complaining – quite happy with chocolate sponge, it was great!) We were thinking of the mince-pies, Christmas cake, apple pie with custard (and ice cream!) we’d have back home though. I did feel really bad though, longing after something else, when they’d been so hospitable to us. I felt so selfish, like I can’t just be happy with what I’ve been given. It was weird, being surrounded by food and people, but wanting what you’re used to, despite everything you’ve been offered.

We never got to go to the beach either, which was a big disappointment to me (man, it sounds like all I’m doing is moaning, sorry, please don’t think badly of me). It would have been so cool to get out of Kampala and go somewhere different, away from it all. Ramona apologised and said she wasn’t sure why we didn’t end up going. I think it was just because we were so late starting food. And there I go again, being critical because it didn’t go the way I wanted it to. I’ve really got to stop that. There are other ways of doing things, that are not my way, but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

Texted home later saying how I missed my family, and that the day hadn’t turned out quite how I expected. My sister texted back saying that they’d laid a place for me at the dinner table. Bless! Really didn’t expect that. I shed a few tears (I so don’t do crying). I just wanted to go away and cry buckets (like I said, I don’t do crying). I wanted to be with my family so much. Just wanted a hug, to be around people that understand me and love me (I’m so pathetic!). It was really hard. In a way, I would have preferred to be in Renk in Sudan, by myself, rather than be with the family who I had dinner with, all together, yet not part of them and wanting to be with my family. It’s really silly the things you miss. I felt like I was about twelve. Oh dear, reading that back sounds like I was so depressed, and near-suicidal…it really wasn’t that bad at all. But it did make me realise how important family is.

Ok, enough of Christmas…once the day had passed, that was it. Christmas was over really. Flic and I went to Jinga for a couple of days after Christmas, which was ace. SO much fun!! It’s where the supposed source of the Nile is. We stayed in a lovely place right by the Nile. I can’t get over how big the Nile is up there – considering how small it is down in Renk! Anyway, we had a great time rafting. The instructor kept asking me why I kept falling out J More fun that way in my opinion. SO nearly died though on the last rapid (called ‘The Bad Place and 50/50) – getting sucked into the rapids and eddies is not always as much fun as it looks when one is in the water and not coming up for air anytime soon! I was scared, and there was some serious praying going on under that water. But it really was so much fun! I wanted to do it all again the next day (I’m not sure Flic was quite so convinced). Then we went mountain-biking the next day. Realised how much I missed my bike and being up on the Quantock Hills. Gonna have to get myself a bike in Renk somehow…somewhere…could be difficult though…any of you guys wanna flat-pack a bike and sent it out to me…Nige, what do you reckon??

That was Jinga, and we had such a great time – rafting, swimming in the pool (and bombing into the water by the pretty girls who would go in for a few minutes, making sure their hair stayed dry – you’d be proud of me Ben), being bought drinks by some guys who fly planes to map the entire country of Uganda!. It’s a hard life.

Then for New Year we went to Kampala Pentecostal Church for an all-night worship service. With a 100+ choir again. So wonderful! And so many people. They even had a big screen set up on the grass outside! Reminded me of Henman’s Hill. It was a really good night. Flic and I left after the break (at 1:30am!) – but the service continued on. I think the boys got back home at around 4 in the morning or something ridiculous! Don’t know how they did it.

New Year’s Day was very cool too. Flic and I met up with Peterson and Prosse – two people who were part of the team when I was out in Uganda last year. We went to Peterson’s parents house to meet his family. Really lovely people. And because we were their first guests of 2007, we got presented with a beautiful sponge cake – again, with loads of icing! Flic and I were loving the cake! It was so generous of them. They’d never met us before, but we were made to feel so welcome. It was very humbling. Would I be quite so hospitable in my home in the UK, or would I see it as more of an inconvenience that people had come round and disturbed my New Year’s Day? Then after that, Peterson took us to his sisters house where they were having a huge family meal. At least 20 people were there when we turned up. Again, it wasn’t a problem to them. We were made to feel very welcome, as if it was normal for friends of the family who they’d never met before to just turn up for lunch (which was actually around 15:30). It really did make you think, and wonder whether I would be that giving?

Towards the end of my time in Uganda (I’d already postponed my flight once), I had a lovely couple of days just sorting stuff out and going round Kampala and spending time with the people I’d met. We also went to a beach resort in Entebbe, which is right on the shored of Lake Victoria. Beautiful! Played Frisbee and went swimming in the Lake – went out for ages with some random guys I met, until I thought better of it and came back. There was also a swimming pool in the hotel grounds, so we were diving off into the water, and doing somersaults and cartwheels into the pool. I’ll try and get some more photos onto the website.

I tried to get my visa for Sudan while I was in Uganda, but failed miserably. I was so gutted (the fact that it was really last minute wouldn’t have had anything to do with it I’m sure)! I just wanted to go back to Sudan without having to have a long stop-over in Nairobi. Also, Tearfund were having a retreat for all the teams in the North Sudan Programme from 7-9th January. I really wanted to be there. To get to know everyone and feel part of the bigger Tearfund team. I’m the only Tearfund ex-pat in Renk (and we’re a consortium of NGOs, rather than just one, like Tearfund). Where-as all the other teams are majoritally (is that a word) made up of Tearfund staff. But it just wasn’t meant to be, and God obviously wanted me in Nairobi for a reason. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. Why not get a visa in Uganda and go to Sudan and be part of the retreat? Surely that is a good thing – good for me, and good for my role as WatSan engineer/.coordinator in Renk – being able to chat and ask questions to all the other WatSan people. But obviously God had other plans, it’s just that I didn’t agree with His logic.

On my last night in Uganda, I decided to cook for everyone. You would have been well-impressed with me Mum, I cooked for nine people! I know, I’m still recovering from the shock too! And apparently they’re all still alive. I cooked sweet potato, rice, g-nut sauce, beef, cabbage, carrots, and I think that was it. It was good fun and a lovely way to end my time in Uganda. It was actually really hard to say goodbye to everyone. They’re all such lovely people and we became really good friends. They really made me feel part of their team, even though I wasn’t.

So onto the plane I got…next stop Nairobi…

…and I’ll leave my adventures in Kenya for another time…I think I’ve bored you enough, and it’s not even that exciting!

Still miss you all!
b xXx